LAREDO, TX —
Border and immigration enforcement efforts are impacting an unlikely visitor this holiday season as Santa navigates bureaucratic red tape this year. “It’s taking a bit longer than usual,” the jolly old man explained while holding a stack of paperwork. “I understand the need for heightened scrutiny but I don’t understand the need for so many forms,” he added.
“Honestly, I don’t even need a visa and I’ll be in and out before anyone would even know but it’s about doing things the right way,” said Mr. Kringle. “To be honest it isn’t even me that’s taking so long – it’s the friggin’ elves and reindeer,” he explained. “Apparently, the USDA needs more information on what they eat and the FBI is finally cracking down on child smuggling,” Santa added. “I don’t even bring the elves.”
Nevertheless, Santa isn’t worried about visiting all the good little boys and girls on Christmas Eve saying, “Secretary Noem has assured me I will have clearance in plenty of time for all my scheduled deliveries and I want the rest of the world to know I don’t foresee having to alter my normal routing in any way, except Ukraine and Venezuelan air space, of course.”
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