WASHINGTON —
President Trump today signed an Executive Order effectively outlawing the use of corporate jargon. “We are taking corporate jargon offline and making communicating great again,” exclaimed the President at a ceremony in the Oval Office.
“No longer will Americans have to suffer from emails, mission statements or supervisors saying things like, ‘synergy,’ or, ‘bandwidth,'” promised Mr. Trump. “Americans don’t have the bandwidth to keep circling back,” he explained.
Not everyone is happy about the new rule. Michelle Middleton, a human resources manager for a regional processed food distributor noted, “this is a paradigm shift that is a lose-win-tie for management and other stakeholders who touch base primarily through unnecessary communications.”
LinkedIn could not be reached for comment.
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